Alejandro Arce
Cover of Anchor: The Single Dad's System by Alejandro Arce, a father leaning on an anchor while his daughter holds his hand

The book

Anchor

The single dad's system

It's 2 AM and your kid is crying. Again.

No one is walking through the door to help. It's on you.

PaperbackUS $14.99 on Amazon

In Canada: Amazon.ca, CA $19.99.

Anchor is twelve systems for single dads with a kid under five, one per chapter: your body, sleep, your head, discipline, food, money, co-parenting, dating and the bad days. Each chapter ends with three things to do and a checklist for the week.

Twelve systems, one per chapter

Every system is built the way I had to build mine: on short sleep, with one free hand.

  1. Physical PowerThe Morning Stack. Your body is the tool the whole job runs on. Keep it strong, ten minutes a day.
  2. Sleep SystemsThe Curfew and the Bedtime Loop. Your kid needs a rested adult running the routine.
  3. Mental Health & OverwhelmThe 5-Minute Reset. Numb nothing. Show up anyway.
  4. Attachment & PresenceThe Full Fifteen. Fifteen minutes of you, fully in, beats a whole evening split with your phone.
  5. Making Parenting EnjoyableThe Fun Rotation. Your kid needs a dad who wants to be there.
  6. Discipline FrameworkThe Calm Card System. The calm one wins.
  7. Practical NutritionThe Sunday Build. Two hours on Sunday feeds both of you all week.
  8. Time, Money & Self-CareThe Two Windows. Time and money leak on their own. Plug the holes on purpose.
  9. Co-Parenting & LogisticsBIFF and the Handoff Sheet. Your kid is watching how you handle this.
  10. Dating as a Single DadThe Readiness Check. A happy dad is a steadier anchor.
  11. Bad Days Survival GuideThe Bad Day Protocol and the Crew List. The plan you build on a calm day carries you through the one you can't think straight in.
  12. Raising Confident KidsThe Scaffold. Strength, safety, love. The blueprint she's copying is you.

One system a week

Install everything at once and you'll burn out and quit, so let one settle and add the next.

Alejandro Arce

Why I wrote it

In 2020 my life changed twice in one year: I had a baby girl, and covid locked us in the house. A year later her mom and I split. My daughter is six now, and we do 50/50 custody, a week with me, a week with her mom.

In those five years I dealt with a body that crashed at the end of every day, depression that made getting off the couch a workout, and co-parenting boundaries I set way too late. I built everything by trial and error, heavy on the error.

I'm a dad who lived it and wrote down what worked. When something in the book needs a doctor, I say so.

If you're in crisis, call or text 988 (US and Canada).

Your kid needs one steady adult. This is how I became one.

PaperbackUS $14.99 on Amazon

Read the first pages free with Look Inside on Amazon.