Thinking in Public
Dating turned into a transaction.
Everyone is looking at what they can gain from it instead of the chance to connect with someone. It's a game both sides are playing.
I'm sad about it. The honesty and the opportunity for love feel like they went missing, and I keep asking myself if love is even a real conversation anymore.
That's up 12.5% from the year before, according to Fortune, and nearly half of single Americans now say dating isn't worth it financially. Add the apps on top of that. More choice was supposed to help. Instead, a University of Vienna study found the opposite: the bigger the set of profiles people were shown, the higher their fear of being single and the lower their self-esteem, a choice-overload effect that pushes people into a rejection mindset.
Cost plus choice overload adds up to a negotiation. You're doing the math before you've even met the person: what this is going to cost you, what you're getting back. That's due diligence dressed as romance.
I've already written about skipping the $200 date, six ways to be out with someone without turning it into a receipt, and about asking a real question. Same fix both times: go in wanting to know someone, before wanting anything back.