Thinking in Public
Seven questions to ask instead of “what do you do?” The one that stops people: how’s your health, family, business, and are you completely satisfied with that?
"What do you do?" is the fastest way to end a conversation before it starts. It gets you a job title and nothing else — and then you're both standing there holding your drinks.
I've started asking different questions instead. They turn a networking hello into an actual conversation, and people remember you for it.
No. 03 is the one that stops people in their tracks
Nobody asks that third one at a mixer. Most people are so used to reciting their pitch that a genuine question about their health, their family, their business — and whether they're actually satisfied — catches them off guard. That's the point. The pause before they answer is where the real conversation starts.
Pick one that fits the room and let it breathe.
I keep three of these lists: one for dates, one for meeting people, one for couples who've been together a while. Same idea each time — ask the real thing.